Big Papi Is An "Asshole"

June 12, 2008

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Colin Linneweber

Big Papi Is An "Asshole"

Boston Red Sox iconic slugger David Ortiz became a U.S. citizen Wednesday with 220 other immigrants from 57 countries at a ceremony at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library in Boston.  

“It’s a great country. I’m proud to be here,” said the revered Big Papi. “I am eager to be a part of the American family.” 

Ortiz, 32, who was born in Santa Domingo on the south coast of the Dominican Republic, is by all accounts an affable and charming man and he deserves great happiness in celebration of his big day. Nevertheless, instead of appearing dignified and classy during his ceremony, the 4-time All-Star wore a despicable pair of diva-like shades indoors that made him resemble a male version of J-Lo.  

As Larry David said on his hit HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, “You know who wear sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.” 

Considering that the designated hitter has 279 career home runs and he bears little likeness to Ray Charles, I am going to presume that Ortiz is not blind. So…..

Keywords: Boston Red Sox David Ortiz

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