Chad Pennington Is Fine With Me
New York Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum sought and received permission to speak with former Green Bay Packer Brett Favre about his interest in playing for Gang Green, according to reports published last Friday.
If the Jets acquire Favre, 38, a three-time NFL MVP and seven-time All-Pro selection, they will instantly gain credibility and become a legitimate contender in the powerful AFC.
New York's brass should do everything in their capabilities to finalize an agreement with the Packers to attain the iconic quarterback, who threw for 4,155 yards and 28 touchdowns last season.
The Jets, who were on the fringe of selecting the University of Southern Mississippi star in the 1991 draft, before the Atlanta Falcons swiped him with the 33rd pick, spent like Eliot Spitzer splurging on whores this offseason, and they are a win-now team that would be completed by adding a signal caller of Favre’s caliber.
In virtually every capacity, dealing for Favre is an obvious move for Gang Green’s hierarchy.
Unfortunately, if the Jets say "hello" to Favre, they will have to say "good-bye" to one of the classiest and most underappreciated athletes in the annals of Gotham, Chad Pennington. Pennington, 32, who brought his Jets playbook on his honeymoon, and has thrown for 82 touchdowns in comparison to 55 interceptions for his career, is likable and simply an easy man to cheer for.
Pennington’s ragamuffin arm is clearly an issue, and the lack of zip and distance he puts on his throws does stunt the Jets' offensive schemes. Nevertheless, despite his drawbacks, Pennington is the most accurate passer, statistically, in the history of the NFL, and he is a warrior who has proven that he can win in the playoffs.
If the Jets are able to obtain Favre, they could be on the cusp of flying towards a special season. On the contrary, if New York is unable to complete an agreement with the Packers for No. 4, Jets fans should supply Pennington (who will defeat Kellen Clemens in the impending quarterback competition) with the unbridled support that he deserves.
If the Jets' faithful do not provide Pennington, the 2006 NFL Comeback Player of the Year, with the affection that he warrants, it will be the most disgusting and repulsive display seen at the Meadowlands since the Gate D “show your tits” fiasco last autumn.
Manny Ramirez Needs to Be Traded by the Boston Red Sox
The Boston Red Sox are contemplating trading their exasperating superstar, Manny Ramirez, before Thursday’s deadline, according to published reports.
Ramirez, 36, who is in the last season of the eight-year, $168 million contract he signed with Boston in December of 2000, urged Red Sox management Sunday night to find a suitor for his services.
“If the Red Sox are a better team without Manny Ramirez, they should trade me; I will not object,” said the diva that refers to himself in the third person.
Beantown’s chromosome-deprived nine-time Silver Slugger, who must approve any trade because of his 10-5 status (10 years in the major leagues, the past 5 with the same team), said he would accept a move anywhere as long as he could get out of the Hub.
“I’m tired of them. They’re tired of me,” said Ramirez. “I don’t have any preferences. I could choose a team that offers me the best conditions or one in the chase for the postseason.”
The Washington Heights native, who has 508 home runs and 1,669 RBI in 16 professional seasons, said he would even entertain the option of playing baseball in the gorgeous and pacifying war-torn country of Iraq.
“I don’t care where I play, I can even play in Iraq if need be.”
Despite his enormous production, Ramirez, a man that assaulted a senior citizen earlier this month, has been problematic and troublesome for the Sox hierarchy and it may be time for team officials to stop providing the 12-time All-Star with the inane mulligan known as “Manny being Manny.”
“I could say that right now there’s a strange atmosphere in our team,” observed Ramirez.
The “strange atmosphere” was likely cultivated by the Red Sox answer to Sideshow Bob himself and the only way to rectify Boston’s chemistry may be to jettison the eccentric hemorrhoid.
At this point, “Manny waving bye” sounds a lot more appealing than “Manny being Manny.”
We All Take Sports Too Seriously
Seemingly since I began utilizing my legs to walk, I have been an enormous sports fan.
But, this past Sunday afternoon I had an epiphany akin to the one that Lester Burnham experienced towards the end of "American Beauty."
Sitting in a prominent Boston sports bar, I was disgusted when I looked to my right and saw a pink, Red Sox hat-donning, obese, and hideously unattractive woman frothing from the mouth while she supported Manny Ramirez at the plate. Much to my chagrin, I then looked to my left and saw a low-rent, middle-aged man, likely from Revere, with two children by his side, wearing an "A-Rod swallows" tee-shirt cheering on "the Sawx."
Seeing these two intense and repulsive New Englanders in all of their glory began to actually cause physical ailments within my body.
I was sweating like Patrick Ewing and my heart was beating like I was a hooker in a cathedral, and for what? To passionately support a fleet of overpriced, often arrogant, and surly, men throw a ball around?
Sports are simply games and they should not be taken more seriously than that.
Nevertheless, I do love the idea of competition and, in a less frenetic and more mature way, I will still attempt to entertain you with my take on the world of athletics.
Keywords: Boston Red Sox, New York Jets
