Paul Pierce and the Boston Celtics defeated the Los Angeles Lakers 98-88 Thursday night to take a 1-0 advantage in the NBA Finals. The Celtics (66-16) are a tremendous team and an instrumental piece of their success is the stellar play of Pierce.

Nevertheless, recently I’ve spoken with a slew of incompetent Bostonians, all clearly intoxicated off of one too many Samuel Adams and bowls of clam chowder, who actually believe that the former Kansas Jayhawks star is a Hall of Fame talent. Pierce, 30, who was stabbed 11-times in the face, neck and back in 2000 during an altercation at Buzz Club in the city’s theater district, is a quality player who has made the All-Star team six-times and has been named to the All-NBA third team 3-times since being drafted with the 10th overall selection in the 1998 draft.

Continue reading "Paul Pierce Is Not A Hall Of Fame Player"

Paul Pierce and the Boston Celtics defeated the Los Angeles Lakers 98-88 Thursday night at TD Banknorth Garden in Boston to take a 1-0 advantage in the NBA Finals. Early in the third quarter, Pierce fell to the hardwood and grasped his right knee in apparent agony. Providing the illusion that he was immobile, Pierce was carried off the court by his teammates and he was transported to the locker room in a wheel chair. Despite his horrific and debilitating injury, Pierce astonishingly returned to game action unscathed within a matter of minutes and finished the contest with 22 points on 7 of 10 shooting.

Although Pierce has not had an MRI scan to determine the condition of his meniscus, Celtics officials insist that the former University of Kansas star has no structural damage to his knee and they anticipate that he will be ready to play in Game 2 on Sunday evening in Beantown.

Continue reading "Paul Pierce Faked His Injury"

COLIN LINNEWEBER 

    

     Joba Chamberlain and the New York Yankees defeated the Kansas City Royals 6-3 Sunday in the Bronx. Chamberlain, 23, who threw 78 pitches in the second start of his professional career in sweltering 95-degree heat, struck out five and yielded 2 earned runs in 4 1/3 innings. Yankees Manager Joe Girardi said following the game that he would like to see the phenom from Nebraska reach the 100-pitch plateau by the time he makes his fifth start in a couple of weeks.

    

     Little League International established a pitch count last year in an effort to protect youngsters arms. Children between the ages of 11 and 12 are prohibited from exceeding 85 pitches and players in the 9-10 age group are banned from hurling more than 75 throws in any single contest. 

Continue reading "Is Joba Chamberlain In Little League?"

The Boston Globe reported last week that New England Patriots offensive lineman Nicholas Kaczur worked as an informant for federal drug agents after he was arrested in New York state on April 27th for possessing approximately 100 Oxycontin pills without a prescription.

Kaczur, who is a cooperating witness according to a federal DEA agent’s court affidavit, purchased a total of $3,900 worth of “hillbilly heroin” while wearing a wiretap on three separate occasions.

Kaczur’s emasculate snitching led to the arrest of Daniel Estrada, a 35-year-old construction worker and father of twins from Saugus, Massachusets.

New England’s muscle upfront is a yellow and gutless swine and his treacherous actions may ultimately create more harm than good for himself.

Continue reading "Kaczur Needs To Stop Snitching"

Boston Red Sox iconic slugger David Ortiz became a U.S. citizen Wednesday with 220 other immigrants from 57 countries at a ceremony at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library in Boston.  

“It’s a great country. I’m proud to be here,” said the revered Big Papi. “I am eager to be a part of the American family.” 

Ortiz, 32, who was born in Santa Domingo on the south coast of the Dominican Republic, is by all accounts an affable and charming man and he deserves great happiness in celebration of his big day. Nevertheless, instead of appearing dignified and classy during his ceremony, the 4-time All-Star wore a despicable pair of diva-like shades indoors that made him resemble a male version of J-Lo.  

As Larry David said on his hit HBO series

Continue reading "Big Papi Is An "Asshole""

David Ortiz

Boston Red Sox iconic slugger David Ortiz became a U.S. citizen Wednesday, with 220 other immigrants from 57 countries at a ceremony at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library in Boston.  

“It’s a great country. I’m proud to be here,” said the revered Big Papi. “I am eager to be a part of the American family.” 

Ortiz, 32, who was born in Santa Domingo on the south coast of the Dominican Republic, is by all accounts an affable and charming man, and he deserves great happiness in celebration of his big day. Nevertheless, instead of appearing dignified and classy during his ceremony, the four-time All Star wore a despicable pair of diva-like shades indoors that made him resemble a male version of J-Lo.  

Continue reading "The Week That Was"

Legendary New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan retired last week after playing 15-seasons in the National Football League. Strahan’s retirement leaves the Big Blue with a void on their defensive line and some have speculated that the Giants may attempt to fill that space by negotiating a trade with the Miami Dolphins for their DE Jason Taylor. To attain one of People magazine’s “Most Beautiful People” of 2008, New York would allegedly send their disgruntled tight end, Jeremy Shockey, 27, to South Beach for Taylor, 33.

In brief, there is a better chance that the Pope will cozy-up in a synagogue than there is of a Shockey for Taylor exchange actually transpiring. In 2003, Shockey was quoted in New York Magazine as calling the Dolphins Executive Vice President of Football Operations, Bill Parcells, a “homo” and a “quitter.”

Continue reading "Jeremy Shockey For Jason Taylor Trade?"

The Boston Celtics routed the badly overrated Los Angeles Lakers 131-92 Tuesday night at the TD Banknorth Garden to win their 17th championship in franchise history. Thousands upon thousands of newly-minted Celtics fans swarmed the streets of Beantown to celebrate their team’s decisive Game 6 victory over the West Coast Fakers.  

The number 17 is a very ironic numeral regarding the rebirth of the storied Celtics organization. Boston won their 17th crown on the 17th day of June and before this season there was a grand sum of 17 Celtics fans in the entire New England region. Now, because the Celtics have returned to prominence for the first time since the Reagan Administration, the entire northeast is cloaked in shamrock green and rejoicing like wasted leprechauns. 

Continue reading "Boston "Sucks!""

New York Yankees ace Chien-Ming Wang injured his right foot running the bases last Sunday in a 13-0 interleague win versus the Astros at Minute Made Park in Houston. Wang, 28, who is 54-20 since debuting in the Bronx in 2005, suffered a mid-foot sprain of the Lisfranc ligament and a partial tear of the peroneus longus and he will be on the disabled list until at least September with his injuries.

Wang's wounds severely chapped the ass of the Bomber's brazen, chain-smoking owner, Hank Steinbrenner, who faults the National League and their rules for his pitcher's bummed hoof.

"My only message is simple. The National League needs to join the 21st century," Steinbrenner said in Tampa, Fla. "They need to grow up and join the 21st century."

After providing his evolutionary vision, Hankenstein continued and claimed that he is not alone with his gripes. 

Continue reading "Stop Crying, Hank!"

HANK STEINBRENNER
New York Yankees ace Chien-Ming Wang injured his right foot running the bases last Sunday in a 13-0 interleague win versus the Astros at Minute Made Park in Houston. Wang, 28, who is 54-20 since debuting in the Bronx in 2005, suffered a mid-foot sprain of the Lisfranc ligament and a partial tear of the peroneus longus and he will be on the disabled list until at least September with his injuries. Wang’s wounds severely chapped the ass of the Bomber’s brazen, chain-smoking owner, Hank Steinbrenner, who faults the National League and their rules for his pitcher’s bummed hoof.

“My only message is simple. The National League needs to join the 21st century,” Steinbrenner said in Tampa, Fla. “They need to grow up and join the 21st century.”

Continue reading "The Week That Was"

Joba Chamberlain pitched 6 2/3 shutout innings Wednesday night as the New York Yankees trounced the hapless Pirates 10-0 at PNC Park in Pittsburgh. Chamberlain (2-2), 22, who is 1-0 with a 1.80 ERA since being promoted from the bullpen in early-June, struck out 7 Bucs en route to earning his first career win as a starter.

“Joba has the ability to pitch games like this,” said Yankees Manager Joe Girardi. “That’s the kind of stuff he has.”

Presently, the choice to transition Chamberlain into the staring rotation appears ingenious and no person within the Yankees organization urged the move more aggressively than did their owner, Hank Steinbrenner.

As “Hankenstein” notoriously said about Chamberlain before he assumed his new role, “you don’t have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him as a set-up guy. You just don’t do that. You have to be an idiot to do that.”

Continue reading "Hank Sings "How's My Ass Taste?""

Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon was placed on waivers last week one day after he assaulted his former General Manager, Ed Wade, in the team’s dining room. According to accounts of the incident, Wade approached Chacon (2-3, 5.04 ERA), 30, and insisted that the right-hander go to Manager Cecil Cooper’s office for an internal discussion with his skipper.

“I sat down to eat, and Ed Wade came to me and very sternly said, ‘You need to come with me to the office.’ I said, ‘For what? I don’t want to go to the office with you and Cooper.’ And I said, ‘You can tell me whatever you’ve got to tell me right here.’ He’s like, ‘Oh, you want me to tell you right here?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ I’m not yelling. I’m calm,” Chacon recounted.

Continue reading "Shawn Chacon Is A Criminal"