Manny Ramirez Is a Thug

Boston Red Sox left-fielder Manny Ramirez physically threw the team’s traveling secretary, Jack McCormick, to the ground in Houston Saturday before a game against the Astros after Mccormick informed Ramirez that he may not be able to amass the 16 tickets that he had requested for that night’s game. Following his assault on McCormick, 64, the 9-time Silver Slugger Award winner did his best Avon Barksdale impersonation as he menacingly screamed “do your fucking job” at the elderly club executive.

“Whatever happens in the clubhouse stays in the clubhouse,” Ramirez said before Monday night’s game against the Tampa Bay Rays. “I talked to him and everything is fine. He’s going to continue being my friend.”

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Light Heavyweight Champion Joe Calzaghe (45-0, 32 KOs) will defend his crown and fight Roy Jones Jr. on September 20 at New York’s Madison Square Garden it was announced Tuesday.

After Calzaghe, 36, defeated the legendary Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins (48-5-1) in April, “the Pride of Wales” positioned his sights on fighting Jones, 39.

“Joe called me out and it’s hard for me to turn that down,” said Jones, the man who the Boxing Writer’s Association of America chose as the 1990’s Fighter of the Decade.

“I didn’t need the fight, but he asked for it and it’s hard to turn down that opportunity when he’s such a credible and worthy champion. You ask me to fight, you’re a champion and you’re 45-0? That’s the kind of stuff I like to do, you feel me? I think Joe is a true champion and I think he really is going to fight me. I want to get back to the pound-for-pound list and this is the shortcut. I beat Joe, I’m back on top.”

Continue reading "Roy Jones May Speak Like Reginald Denny Soon"

New York Yankees prized farmhands Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy have both been on the disabled list since Bob Shepherd's high school days and even some of the most ardent Bombers fans are perplexed at how such minuscule injuries could shelve the two rookies for such extended periods of time.

Yankees Manager Joe Girardi stressed last week that Kennedy (0-3, 7.41 ERA), 23, who had been sipping pina coladas since early-May with a strained right lat muscle before starting for Class A Tampa 2 weeks ago, is no longer rehabilitating his wound.

"This is him getting right," Girardi said. "He's not on the D.L. now. This is him earning his way back, just like the other 175 players or so in the minors."

Meanwhile, Hughes (0-4, 9.00 ERA), 22, is expected to lounge around until September with a strained oblique and cracked rib that was first identified in April.

Continue reading "Injuries To Yanks Hughes and Kennedy Are As Real As Pam Anderson's Tits"

INJURIES TO YANKS HUGHES & KENNEDY AS REAL AS PAM ANDERSON'S TITS 

New York Yankees prized farmhands Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy have both been on the disabled list since Bob Shepherd’s high school days and even some of the most ardent Bombers fans are perplexed at how such minuscule injuries could shelve the two rookies for such extended periods of time.

Yankees Manager Joe Girardi stressed last week that Kennedy (0-3, 7.41 ERA), 23, who had been sipping pina coladas since early-May with a strained right lat muscle before starting for Class A Tampa 2 weeks ago, is no longer rehabilitating his wound.

“This is him getting right,” Girardi said. “He’s not on the D.L. now. This is him earning his way back, just like the other 175 players or so in the minors.”

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Infamous whistle blower and 1988 AL MVP Jose Canseco was knocked out Saturday night in a celebrity boxing match by former professional football player Vai Sikahema at Bennie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City.

Sikahema, 45, who was an amateur Golden Gloves champion during his youth before he starred on the gridiron, put Canseco, 44, out of his misery only one minute and 37 seconds into the first round. Following the massacre, the “Tongan Terror” was asked if he was surprised by any aspect of his fight with the Material Girl’s previous boy-toy.

“That it didn’t finish in the first 30 seconds,” said Sikahema, who is seven inches shorter and 43 pounds lighter than Canseco.

Prior to the donnybrook, Sikahema warned the admitted steroid abuser that his size wouldn’t compensate for his lack of skills in the ring.

Continue reading "Jose Canseco Is "Rotted Inside Out""

Former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Quinton "Rampage" Jackson (28-7) was arrested and held on $25,000 bail after he fled from a few traffic accidents in Costa Mesa, California on Tuesday afternoon. According to authorities, a report was received of an accident on 55 Freeway involving a large Ford pickup truck that struck another vehicle and drove away from the scene of the crime.

While on patrol, a Costa Mesa officer spotted the same F-350, with a large mural of a shirtless Jackson on its side, strike another automobile and again depart from the collision without stopping.

The officer followed the truck that was fleeing in the direction of Newport and signaled for the driver to pull over to the side of the road. The operator of the 4-wheeled monstrosity, Jackson, 30, ignored the officer's instruction and he continued to drive like a psychotic lush without a conscience or a cause. After a brief chase, Jackson, who starred in the Pride organization before becoming a force in the UFC, finally stopped his truck and ended his vehicular rampage of terror.

Continue reading "Is Quinton Jackson's Life On A "Rampage?""

Christopher Nolan’s highly-anticipated film, The Dark Knight, premiered this weekend and all eyes were transfixed on the late Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the dynamic villain, The Joker. In tribute to Ledger’s devilishly mesmerizing character, I have decided to nominate the 5 most villainous sports figures of the past ten years.

1) Barry Bonds- Bonds, 43, a 7-time MVP and 8-time Gold Glove winner who is baseball’s all-time home run king with 762 dingers, is one of the greatest players to ever grace the diamond. Unfortunately, Willie Mays’ godson is also one of the most despicable and surly human beings to ever be thrust upon the world of professional sports. In November of 2007, Bonds was indicted on 4 counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for lying about his use of performance enhancing drugs (including the allegation that he utilized a steroid called trenbolone, which is intended to improve the muscle quality in cattle). Currently, Bonds is an outcast who has been essentially banished from the sport of baseball.

Continue reading "The Five Biggest Sports Villains Of The Past Decade"

The Yankees Will Win the AL East

The New York Yankees defeated the Minnesota Twins 12-4 Monday night in the Bronx to extend their home winning streak to 8 games.

Despite the inane and inexplicable rush by many to discard the 2008 Yankees from playoff contention in the month of July, the Bombers stand a measly 2 games behind the Boston Red Sox in the loss column and they trail the first-place Tampa Bay Rays by a skimpy 4.5 games.

The notion that the Yankees (54-45) are done is simply comedic and it illustrates the way the team is covered by both the media and fans alike.

The Red Sox (57-43) have won 2 championships in 90 years and they have captured one AL East crown since the 1996 season. Still, many observers and delusional Sox fans act like another divisional title is a foregone conclusion.

Continue reading "A Look Back on the Week That Was In Sports"

The Boston Red Sox are contemplating trading their exasperating superstar, Manny Ramirez, before Thursday’s deadline, according to published reports.  

Ramirez, 36, who is in the last season of the eight-year, $168 million contract he signed with Boston in December of 2000, urged Red Sox management Sunday night to find a suitor for his services.  

“If the Red Sox are a better team without Manny Ramirez, they should trade me; I will not object,” said the diva that refers to himself in the third person.  

Beantown’s chromosome-deprived 9-time Silver Slugger, who must approve any trade because of his 10-5 status (10 years in the major leagues, the past 5 with the same team), said he would accept a move anywhere as long as he could get out of the Hub. 

Continue reading "Manny Ramirez Needs To Be Traded"

New York Jets General Manager Mike Tannenbaum sought and received permission to speak with former Green Bay Packer Brett Favre about his interest in playing for Gang Green, according to reports published last Friday.

If the Jets acquire Favre, 38, a 3-time NFL MVP and 7-time All-Pro selection, they will instantly gain credibility and become a legitimate contender in the powerful AFC. New York's brass should do everything in their capabilities to finalize an agreement with the Packers to attain the iconic quarterback who threw for 4,155 yards and 28 touchdowns last season.

The Jets, who were on the fringe of selecting the University of Southern Mississippi star in the 1991 draft before the Atlanta Falcons swiped him with the 33rd pick, spent like Eliot Spitzer on whores this off-season and they are a win-now team that would be completed by adding a signal-caller of Favre’s caliber.

Continue reading "Chad Pennington Is Fine With Me"